How to Truly Find Yourself
This past weekend I went home to Mississippi for one of my cousins weddings.
And at some point while I was there God gave me a thought that I am really having a hard time putting into words even now.
But in essence it was this:
The only way to truly find yourself is in marriage.
Which is confusing and bizarre - especially for a single person like me.
And as I sit here and process and struggle through trying to explain this thought, I still can't help but to believe it to be true.
I can't help but to believe that the only place we can truly find ourselves is in the moments when we are laying our lives down.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25
I can't help but to believe that only within the intimacy of marriage can some of the darkest parts of our hearts be brought out and healed.
"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” -Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
And I can't help but to know that even if we never marry another man or woman in this life, that marriage is the type of relationship Christ desires to have with us.
"This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:32
Christ desires us to have intimacy with Him and with His people.
So many people today think they need to travel the world or climb the tallest mountains to truly find ourselves.
"So many of us today think they need to travel the world or climb the tallest mountains to truly find ourselves. When in reality, God made us so that the only place we could truly find ourselves is in a relationship with Him."
When in reality, God made us so that the only place we could truly find ourselves was in a relationship with Him.
God desires that we have close relationships with one another and some of us even spouses so that we could encourage one another in our relationship with Him. So that others could see in us where we fall short and help pick us up when temptation strikes or chaos takes over.
I was recently in a relationship in which we were trying to decide if we were meant to get married and though it did not work out, I learned more about myself in that relationship than I have in a really long time.
When we join together - whether it be in Godly friendships or marriage - we are able to learn more about how to live like Christ.
Jesus tells us that "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." (Mt. 16:25)
I think we spend too much time trying to save our lives. I know I do.
But all it does is create anxiety.
When I cling to this life I worry about whether or not I am a good nurse. I worry about whether or not I should go to nurse practitioner school and is it too late or too early. I worry about if or when I will ever meet a husband or if I missed my one and only chance. And I worry about whether or not I will like who I am when I turn 50. Will I be satisfied with where I am?
"I think we spend too much time trying to save our lives. I know I do."
But when I die to myself. When I bury the desires of my flesh to plan and worry and control. When I run 200mph in my marriage with Jesus, I have peace.
We've been trained to find our identity in how we look, what we wear, where we work, who we know, and how much of the world we have seen.
But the only place we will ever truly find ourselves is when we let go of all of that, and come to the foot of the cross.
When we acknowledge that nothing in this world could ever fulfill us like being in perfect unity with our creator.
The only place that we will every truly find ourselves is when we stop trying to become something and simply be the daughters and sons of God we were created to be - wherever we are, in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves in.
"The only place that we will every truly find ourselves is when we stop trying to become something and simply be the daughters and sons of God we were created to be."
A quote a friend shared with me:
"Maybe the Journey isn't so much about becoming anything, maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."