I Already Forgot About The Hope I Found In Haiti
It's been just over a week since I've been back from Haiti and unless I am intentionally reminding myself or telling someone about it...
I have already forgotten the hope that I saw and felt there.
I've already forgotten about the patients who told me that God was their everything.
I've already let the things that I've created to be my everything distract me from the true source of everything.
In Haiti, I had more energy in the 93 degrees and 90% humidity, with no air conditioning, than I do now after more sleep in a comfier bed, and a well cooled and heated apartment and workplace.
My joy for work is less even despite knowing how many Haitians I prayed with asking that they would find work like mine.
It seems that even though the resources, comforts, health, and quality of life in Haiti were drastically lower than ours here in America, my hope there was drastically higher.
He Must Become Greater
There was one thing in Haiti however that was better in Haiti than it has been here back at home.
And that, was my time with the Lord.
It was how often we prayed, and reflected. It was actively looking and seeing God in every moment.
In Haiti, I spent more time with God than I did on my phone, on social media, or on worrying about my plans and my to-do list.
We didn't have any of that in Haiti.
We were forced to take the attention and the focus off of ourselves and be 100% present with those who we were with.
True Hope & Contentment
But despite my stubbornness and my forgetfulness, God has used this horrendous case of the "moody Mondays" (new phrase I just now made up) and lent me the words to write this post to you all tonight to share what I know to be true, and to remind us all where true hope and contentment can be found.
So tonight I come to you, painfully aware of my brokenness.
I write this not because I've mastered it perfectly, but because I continue to struggle with it.
And while though I have been growing closer with contentment, the enemy often leads my heart to want to know what the future holds.
My hope becomes dependent and focused on schedules, goals, trips, and the things that I can make happen.
While I forget that I am in no way in control of anything that happens.
The Secret: Obedience
The only difference between how I've gone about my life here and how I went about it in Haiti is what I let myself be focused on.
In one of the devotionals one of our doctors gave while we were in Haiti he talked about the word "Shalom."
Most know this word to mean, peace.
But there are different kinds of peace. Sometimes we have peace when we are financially stable. Other times we have peace when we are in good health.
But Shalom is a different kind of peace.
Dr. Lee told us in his devotional that Shalom means: permanent wholeness and completeness.
But if this peace is permanent wholeness and completeness, he reminded us that it surely could not be found then in our circumstances.
Instead, Shalom is a type of peace that can only be found when we trust, obey, and abide in Jesus.
And the only way to truly have hope is to truly and completely know that we are made complete in Jesus - and thus have both shalom and hope.
In Haiti, I saw hope because I was focused on the things that God was focused on. In America, I have struggled to continue to do so.
Will you join me in striving to keep our eyes on Him and His will and not our own?
"Keep your gaze on God, and only let yourself glance at your circumstances." -Dr. Lee